And then it took a sharp turn....

On Sunday, I got a vision and in it was the ride " Mad Mouse". It is like a rollercoaster but every so often it takes a very sharp turn. If you are not ready for the turn then you get a stiff neck.....

Didn't know that I was speaking to me !!!!!! Right after the preservice prayer (where I saw that) I was called in the office by one of the leaders and told that I was stepping down from prayer (both Tues night and preservice) as Mike Hinger wanted to teach the "Happy Intercessor" book from Bethel church in Redding CA. He said that they wanted me to take a "rest" and that I could still come (if I wanted to) Also, he wanted me to come on Tues night so that they could "honor" me and I said "No". He also said that the leaders had said no to the "Feast".

When I went upstairs I bumped into one of my friends (Rena) and started to cry. I said that I could not stay as I felt very dishonored and hurt. We went to her house so that I could cry some and talk some of it out.

It really all started last Nov/Dec when I was wrestling with the Lord and was in a bad place. It took a while (weeks) before I could say to the Lord, yes, I will lay down leading intercession and anything else that He wanted me to do. Then right after Christmas was when I had the visit by the Lord and He told me that it was time to step off the edge and fly. I felt renewed and with more vision and energy and excitement. I should have read the signs that were all around !!!
The funny thing is that this is the 8th year that I am at the church (new beginnings) and that all this happened on the 8th of March, on the day that the time "sprung forward".

I know now as this happened I realized that there was still a wound there in me that had gotten infected and this "cut" opened up the wound and it began to drain poison. At one point I was awake from 5 am and was "writing" e-mails in my head to the leaders.

The Lord showed me that as I was doing this in my head and speaking to Him, that the poison was draining out and it was starting to heal. The Word is washing over the old and new wounds and I am feeling better than I was on Sunday (seems like weeks ago) I was thinking of phoning Mike as he had called me and asked how I was doing and then proceeded to tell me that they were going to honor me with or without me there. (at one point I wondered who the honoring was for) When I started thinking about what I was going to say I realized that there was still poison there and that I needed it ALL gone before I talked to him.

I have asked Alastair and Judy for ministry when they get home and they said that they would. They ministered to me in Dec when I was going thru all that tough time.
He had said to me at the time, This is a process that you are walking thru and we can only pray for you thru this.

One of the signs that I almost missed was the change in the words spoken over me lately from "you are a warrior /intercessor etc" to them speaking about more dreams, visions, hearing and discernment intensified etc. It was about the 7th time that someone spoke it out that I realized that something had changed ! I don't know what it is all about, but I feel like the floor has just fallen out from under my feet and that I need to fly or fall. It is a very scary thing!! Intercession had become comfortable for me and the Lord had told me 8 years ago as I entered the church that I was NOT to get comfortable !!!

The biggest thing I have come to realize is that for some reason I had taken on part of my identity from my gifting. I was an intercessor. God has been trying to get that out of my head/heart and teach me who I am in Him. I am His child!!! Just in the last few days He told me that He is giving me a new name. ( He showed me that I had been Intercessor Vivian ) He was showing me about the name being more than just a name, but a characteristic. This new name is going to be who I am now. I don't know that it will be a new name as in Vivian to Sue, but I won't know until.....

I saw that it was a new season for me and the pic that I saw was the changing of the face of a man to the face of a ?. (I think Beth wrote me something about that..some word that John got over someone about the 4 living creatures)

This morning I woke up singing " The eagles are a rising, the white eagles are a rising...fly fly fly" by Rick Pino. It was a prophetic song about the prophetic rising. Don't know what this means either, but I am taking a 3 month rest and stepping back from everything. I will be pressing into the Lord and He is what I am seeking first. I know this all adds up to something, but I will not second guess God.
I only want to do what He is asking me to do. So, you see, I already knew that this would happen, but there were things that needed healing too.

It was just a really quick 90 degree turn and my neck got a little sore on the way.....I am walking thru this and need friends to help me along the way. My first thought was I need to go to Prince George. Now I know that God will treat me to that when it is time. (and Beth and Peter will have me there)

Keep a watch for the turn and you will not get a stiff neck of offence !!!